a garden within a garden

although pleased by beauty and grace, I am delighted by the unexpected, by that which surprises and beguiles. that which catches me off guard, or might poke fun at my expectations. it is the balance between the two that I find exquisitely satisfying, as when I am walking a trail and notice an strangely shaped branch that forms a recognizable letter or design, or a collection of rocks that somehow extends a message. nature’s seeming chaos, just as it is, fills my soul–but that quirky branch sends me to an even deeper level of appreciation.

is this what we seek?

delight in the unexpected? to be enthralled, enticed to greater imagination, captivated? to look through the superficial and into what lies beneath?

my friend speaks of the garden within the garden, the house within the house. she speaks of a story by henry james, the figure in the carpet. I am curious; my tendency to respond literally to my world holds up its hands in resistance. I wish to understand, yet how can any of these things be? what does a garden within a garden look like? what exactly is this figure in the carpet, and what does it tell us about anything? how does one imagine this, let alone describe it to another?

as a writer, I take this as a challenge to be more obscure, to write in layers upon layers, to lead the reader down a complex yet ultimately satisfying path filled with demands that ignite curiosity, a desire to explore… and I sit here shaking my head in bewilderment: I simply don’t know how. a writing mentor tells me to dig deeper; this I can do, I just don’t know how to veil that depth while only gradually hinting at pieces of it.

and this must be my work, to learn something I don’t think I can learn. just as we all must seek to understand our own path, to not grow complacent, to keep challenging ourselves ~ this is the why of life.

as a therapist, I work with clients who face, at times, great challenges. this morning, as I reflected upon one of those clients, the phrase that came to mind was never ever ever give up. while I do believe a decision to give up is, given certain times and situations, beneficial or even vital, tenacity most often results in empowering outcomes. thus I’d better get to work. figuring out how to enthrall, delight, and enchant. so that I can create the kind of book I would like to read, taking readers down a path I, myself, would want to wander.