to grant a grant

last friday I mailed off my first grant application.  ever.

I’ve long known about the concepts of grants, and have read author’s words of appreciation in their acknowledgements for this or that organization’s gift of this fellowship or that grant.  my publishers have even discussed the possibility of digging up some grant money to help cover expenses on my current project.  and the idea of a grant from a well-funded, well-meaning organization sounds like a fabulous idea.

so I did some research and found two grant opportunities for which my writing and my current project seem to meet the criteria.  I read–at least thirteen times–the list of required forms, documents, and samples, and proceeded to create, fill-in, and piece together everything necessary for grant number one.  I edited and proof-read and re-wrote and paused and pondered . . . and finally called it good and pressed the “print” button.  64 pages of paper later, I collated and clipped and gently tucked it all into a priority-mail envelope, attached appropriate postage, and mailed it away.

whew.

and whee!

whether I am awarded one of their grants or not, I hurdled a new step in my path.  I did something for the first time, and I dared to put myself out there as deserving of attention and support.  they may laugh at my submission, they may think it incredible, they may decline to fund my project, or they may be thrilled to do so.  I can’t know, I can’t predict, and that’s fine.  I am proud of my application, and look forward to a big fat yes.  I like the word yes.

this whole process, though, has led me to dream about the day when I might be in a position to grant grants.  how terrific will that be?  to be able to support others in their journeys, to be a small piece of new creations, to be someone who says yes to others . . .  to foster dreams, to champion someone whose soul aches to create, to encourage people with vision.  what a beautiful place to place your energy.

grant application number two is in my to-do pile, with a deadline of sometime in september.  these grants are nothing I can count on, but the process of applying helps define my project and helps me take myself seriously.  it’s a step in the direction of someday earning a grant that would allow me to focus entirely on a project (say, in a little cabin somewhere!), and to someday be one who is a grantor of grants.